The Skinny on Skinny Jeans

So, i have loathed the fact that "skinny" jeans are all the rage from the moment I saw the Gap ad with Audrey Hepburn dancing around in her super-skinniness. Just what I need, I thought to myself, yet another fashion trend that celebrates those blessed few petite or long- legged thin girls. I have been watching from afar as more and more girls prance around in their skinny pants with their stylish knee-high boots over them or their flat shoes and long dress-like shirts looking like they just stepped out of the urban outfitters dressing room.

I have known from day 1 that I have absolutely no business wearing these jeans with my ghetto-booty and general big-ness throughout my entire body. Am i fat? Nope. Overweight? A little maybe but I think most would consider me normal. Can I ever find a pair of "designer" jeans that actually fit me? Not a chance. And we wonder why there are so many women out there with weight issues.

Today for some unknown reason, I decided it was time to try the skinny jeans on for size just to see if maybe i was being a little too hard on those trend-setting designer a-holes. Maybe they would actually flatter my curvy figure somehow. So, I hopped into the nearest clothier and set out to find my perfect pair of skinny jeans. Of course, as they are all the rage, I found them immediately and was pleased to actually see a size 10! For the first time in my life, I actually wish there was some creepy guy with a hidden camera in my dressing room because he would have been thoroughly entertained and ill from laughter watching me try to get these jeans on my body. Remember that Friends episode where Ross was wearing the leather pants and he couldn't get them back on after going to the bathroom? I kind of had the opposite problem trying to get them off. I knew immediately that they weren't going to work out when I noticed that my big-ass feet barely fit through the ankle holes. The next hint was when my calves barely fit through the thigh area. Had i paid a little closer attention to these clues, I may not have worked so hard to get them the rest of the way up; somehow making it about halfway up my butt when I finally gave in, defeated, and decided that I was 100% right all along and skinny jeans just aren't for girls like me.

At this point, the terror of all terrors ensued. I went to pull them off and made it down to just above my knee with only a minor struggle before everything came to a screeching halt. I pushed and pushed and pushed not making any progress trying to get them down below my knees so I figured my best bet would be to pull from the ankle the rest of the way. The problem was, with my big feet, I couldn't get a hold of enough fabric to pull with the right amount of force needed to pry the jeans off my seemingly-obese calves or elephantitis-ravaged feet. I tugged and tugged and nothing was budging. At this point I was starting to panic and kicked and jumped and shimmied every which way I could to try and dislodge the the damn things from my body. I started feeling like I was being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor or something...really, total panic in the dressing room. Somehow between the ankle pulling and being able to pinch just enough fabric around my knee area to make a little air-pocket, I was finally able to wriggle my way out of the denim death trap.

When I finally got them off me and back into my rather roomy, size 10 boot cut jeans, I started to become very curious about this mysterious size 10 woman that can fit into the size 10 skinny jeans. I am a perfect size 10...not just sometimes...almost always I fit into a size 10 and since the running, I can actually get into some size 8's. So, what does the size 10 woman look like that fits into the size 10 skinny jeans? Or, is it a well-known fact that you have to move up 4 sizes when you want to go skinny and I just didn't know? I need someone to enlighten me here because I am thoroughly confused.

Luckily, this little exercise today didn't make me feel bad about my body like it normally would, I just laughed at myself for even thinking it would work and day-dreamed about how delicious a big, fat, mint chocolate chip ice cream cone would taste right about then. Mmmm.

Reason #976 why I have no business in the kitchen...

I don't know how to re-heat pizza. We're not even talking cook here, just re-heat. Who needs a house anyway, I'm sure we have that fancy fire insurance I've heard so much about.


ps - yes, that is absolutely a bite taken off the end. don't think for a second that just because i charred this poor little slice to oblivion, i wasn't going to eat it...

When cute attacks....

Two weeks!?!?!

Yeah, I suck. I know this.

Some random thoughts during a trip to Memphis this week...

1) I am incapable of staying awake on planes. Maybe it's the hum of the engines or the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do but sit there and relax. Whatever it is, my window seat and I love some good 'ole plane sleep.

2) I am often disappointed with food at "fancy" restaurants. Perhaps my palate isn't sophisticated enough to fully appreciate what I am eating or, as I often experience with haircuts/colors, if I am going to pay a lot for a meal, I guess I expect to be delightfully surprised with the deliciousness of it all. Maybe my expectations are too high but most of the time I would have been just as happy with a $6 vegetable plate at Carvers.

3) I love coffee. I generally don't feel right in the morning if I haven't had a cup and lately have found myself craving it all day long...I think mostly because it's so freakin' chilly outside the last thing I want to do is throw something cold down my throat. The funny thing is, I can never seem to completely finish a full cup of coffee. Whether it be one cup or several because the waitress keeps coming by topping-off my half-drunk brew, I never ever make it to the bottom of a cup of coffee.

4) I really enjoy business travel. I love flying on airplanes and renting cars and sleeping in hotel beds and eating out at different restaurants and seeing cities I wouldn't normally visit...all on someone else's dime. I also enjoy the independence of it all. I like driving around in a strange place and having to find my way around. There are definitely some parts that drive me insane like the time between landing and the point in which you actually deplane...or the people that still don't know about the shoe/laptop removal & hold on to your boarding pass rules in the security line, but for the most part, I travel just enough to keep it fresh and exciting.

5) I am fascinated by people that have lived in the same city all their lives. It's not like I've lived all over the world (only Pensacola, Atlanta, Hilton Head [very briefly] and Denver) but I have at least gotten out of my comfort zone a bit and seen a little of what else is out there. I bring this up because, while in Memphis, several of the people I was with have lived in Memphis their entire lives. So I was thinking, okay, they most know this city like the back of their hands, right? But the funny thing was, the restaurant we went to was the first time any of them had been to it (and it was my 2nd time!). Even the area of town we went to, a couple of them hadn't been to in over 20 years! This completely fascinated me.

Charles and I ran 17 miles yesterday and for the first time in all this training mess, I understand just what I have gotten myself into and to be completely honest, I'm a little freaked out. The 14-mile run was hard, really hard but I had had the flu two days before the run so I wasn't completely hydrated and knew it was going to be difficult. 100% healthy this weekend, I was looking forward to the 16 miler. About 8 or so miles in I was feeling great as the course was much less hilly than what we have been running (although, one of the few hills we had to tackle was a MONSTER...absolutely the hardest hill we've run yet) and the only discomfort I was feeling was a pulling in the arch of my right foot. No cramps, no knee pain, well hydrated, etc. Even up to mile 13 or 14 I was feeling decent; a little tired especially in the leg area but mostly just ready to get it done and over with. By the last water stop with about a mile or two to go, I was to the point where when I stopped, my legs had a tremendously difficult time getting started up again and I feared if I stopped again I wouldn't be able to continue. Everything about my body wanted me to stop but I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. This was the first time I truly understood how mental the rest of the mileage is going to be. I was thinking of everything I could to keep my legs moving...the fact that I was healthy this week, that I didn't have very much further to go, that it will be really cool to say I've run 16 miles (we actually ended up running 17 miles because we didn't pay enough attention to the map and turned around about a 1/2 mile later than we should have), that I am blessed to have a healthy body and am able to run this distance, that I had a yummy calzone waiting for me at home, etc. Anything I could think of to keep me going. When I finished I was too tired to feel good about the run or enjoy the fact that I had just completed the longest run of my life. Immediately my legs started tightening up and by the time we made it home, both Charles and I were so sore we had to hobble out of the car and up the stairs to the couch. Sounds like fun, eh?

Today I feel great...I woke up this morning and wasn't even sore. Now, I am very proud to say I completed the run and I'm very excited about the fact that next Saturday is a low-mileage run in anticipation of the 20-miler we'll complete weekend after next. I can't imagine having to run another 9 miles on top of what I did yesterday but I am just going to have to trust my mind and body that I can do it and trust the training that it has prepared me for the 26.2 miles. I am still excited, anxious, and pleased with my progress but I will definitely be happy when I am on the other side of this damn thing.

Between the running and the fact that work is extremely busy and mentally draining at the moment, I imagine the infrequent posting will continue for at least a little while longer. I apologize as it drives me crazy when the blogs I check regularly aren't updated frequently enough but sometimes you're just a little busy actually living your life to sit down and write about it.

Training Update

Charles and I are finally into double-digit mileage. It may sound strange, but for a while now I have been looking forward to being able to say "Yeah, so I ran 12 miles today...no big deal". Well folks, that day has finally arrived! Last week Charles and I tackled a particularly grueling 10-mile course that completely kicked our asses. I started writing a post last weekend about how hard it was but I was too tired to finish it. We were thoroughly wiped out and for the first time in my training endeavors, I was truly discouraged. If 10 miles was that hard, what the hell would 26.2 feel like? We unenthusiastically carried on with our training during the week (a particularly hellish week as far as weather goes) and were really not looking forward to the 12-mile run we had to tackle yesterday.

One of the "tips" our coaches have been pressing us about is the importance of eating breakfast before we do our long runs. The trick is, we are supposed to eat two hours before we run and we start running at 7:45 which, if you're a math-wizard like me, means we would have to get up at 5:45 to eat, then go back to sleep another hour or so before getting up to run. No fun, right? Well, after we were so exhausted last week, Charles and I decided we should probably try the breakfast thing this week. So, like any good long-distance runner, I woke at 5:45 and sleep-ate my yummy(?), energy-packed Cliff bar then went back to sleep to squeeze out a few more winks before waking up to start the run.

Yesterday was particularly cold so we bundled up as best we could and headed out to meet up with the other hundred or so Team in Training participants. After last week's ass-kicking, we decided we might want to slow our pace a bit this week so we ran with Hillary (another first-time marathoner that I befriended early on in the training) and Debbie, our assistant coach that is my mom's age, has run 25 marathons and will beat any of us youngsters up a hill, leaving us choking on her dust. Before we knew it (aka - two hours later) we were back at the start having completed our 12 miles -- still smiling, still full of energy and ready to take on the rest of the day. I'm not sure if it was the breakfast or the slowing down (we actually ended up finishing at about the same pace as last week) but I was so, so happy to feel good after the run. Now, instead of dreading next Saturday's 14-mile run, I am looking forward to finishing it and being able to tell folks I have run a half marathon (plus a little extra). I am so proud of myself that I have made it this far and am proud of Charles for making the decision to do it with me. We are training really well together and I am so glad and thankful to have him with me, literally every step of the way.

I am also very proud of the fact that I have raised all my money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society...$1700!!! I have been amazed and humbled by how many people donated their money...old co-workers, new co-workers, family friends, family, friends and family of friends (keeping up?). I am still going to take donations and am planning a fundraising event with a TNT friend that is running the Country Music Half Marathon. Feel free to visit my fundraising website to read about my Honored Hero and read about my recent long runs.

I can't wait for my "I'm a Marathoner!!!" post!

And I'm Back

I apologize for the lack of posting over the past week or so. Two words: "running" and "television". Also, a real lack of inspirational, post-worthy subject matter...until today at least.

This will be short and completely uninteresting to some (most), but believe it or not, the last book in the Harry Potter series began taking pre-sales Thursday after the announcement that it will be released July 21. As of Friday, it is the No.1 seller on both Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com, all this a good 6 months before it will hit store shelves! It is absolutely astounding to me that J.K. Rowling has created a world so intriguing, mysterious and fanciful, yet also so realistic that you feel like you could easily be a part of her world; that millions of people from around the globe are so anxious to get their hands on the final morsel of Harry's life, they are purchasing the book now. I am not at all ashamed to say that I'm a total Harry Potter nerd and while I am looking forward to the last installment of boy-wizard genius, I am also a little sad that this book will be our last opportunity to experience Hogwarts, Quidditch, Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, the Department of Mysteries and the other whimsical elements of the wizarding world...all seemingly effortlessly created by Ms. Rowling. I am planning to read the last book the way that Charlie ate his first Wonka bar...bite by bite (page by page) to draw out the experience as long as I possibly can. A week before the book goes on sale, the Fifth Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, will also release...I might explode with magic-joy that week. Grab your butterbeer and Chocolate Frogs and let's celebrate! Wow, I think I've gone too far.

Also, in case you missed it, our own Mr.Potter is all growed up and desperately trying to shed his boy wizard image..or at least show us that he can do more than flick his wand and fly (masterfully!) on a broom. Here are some pics from a photoshoot to promote the play, Equus, in which Daniel Radcliffe will star and allegedly have a full frontal nude scene.