Monday, April 30, 2007

To Zach and Ann Lillie

Work work work work work work work work work. And then I work work work. Work.

But sometimes, I get to play with my dog (for you, Zach - he misses you and stick time)...

And tend to my modest-yet-bursting-with-potential garden (for Ann Lillie). Ladies and ice plant -- ta da!

And, my pansies that have been looking beautiful since NOVEMBER. Booya!

My thumb is still flesh colored but in just the right light I think I can see some green!

After a 12-hour workday today and probably another four 12-hour workdays to finish out the week, a brief stint in Mexico (pronounced meh-hee-ko for my unilingual friends) next week, customer meetings the following week and then even more customer meetings the week after that, the posting might be few and far between for a bit.

However, soon Mr.Simmons will be leaving his lovely wife for 7 whole weeks so perhaps the pain and sorrow of his absence will inspire me to write through the tears and finally give some substance to this most superficial of non-celebrity gossip blogs. We'll see. Until then, enjoy this unbelievably pleasant weather that seems to have blanketed the east coast, play with your dog and plant some flowers. Life is good.

I said booya.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Liar, Liar

I know I am a little late catching this story and you'll rarely see or hear me express my political views (to be completely honest, i don't know that i understand my political views...something i struggle with and seek to define...) but this article has utterly infuriated me today.

I am not too naive to think that we aren't lied to on a daily basis from both political parties, the media, hell, even our employers and churches and schools. But rarely do these lies stare you straight in the face, out in the open. Most often we put our guards up and pile on the cynicism, knowing the lies are all around us but unsure of exactly what they are or how to locate them. This time, it's crystal clear: we were told one thing, actually two things, both of which were bold-faced lies. Not just exaggerations of the truth...lies. Will anyone be held accountable? I'd like to stand up in front of the world and tell everyone I am best buds with J.K. Rowling and we hang out eating ice cream and chatting about whether or not Hermione & Ron will make-out in the 7th book, but that would be a lie. To the world.

We were lied to about WMD, we have been lied to about progress in the "war" and now we have been lied to about how two of the most well-known soldiers were killed/"rescued". It makes me want to put my fingers in my ears and yell "blah blah blah".

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people complain, complain, complain without ever taking action or offering up solutions so I apologize for the rant.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Shut your mouth!

So there we were, in Panama City for my grandfather’s funeral, when I learned that my family not only reads my blog, but they also email excerpts of it to their friends and think I’m so stinking hilarious that my grandmother wants me to write her eulogy so everyone will laugh at her funeral. Sick? I’ll say. But do I eat up this kind of attention from my family, especially Momma Dot (aka - grandmother extraordinaire and my favorite person on earth)? Absolutely!

My biggest concern after making this discovery is that I may have unintentionally offended a beloved family member with my frequent use of the word “ass” (one of my favorites! I may dedicate an entire post to this most-awesome of words) and “damn” and my one-time mention of “balls”. Thank goodness I found out about their reading before, heaven forbid, I used “f” or “s”! I am in the camp that believes cussing in front of parents is extremely disrespectful, especially if they do not choose to cuss in front of you. I am still, at 27, fearful of my mom hanging me by my toenails for whatever reason so I figure I better not press my luck by running my mouth in front of her. To this day, I have only said “f” once in front of my mom and I can distinctly remember the conversation and the situation and was lucky it was over the phone so she couldn’t snatch me up right then and proceed with the hanging. As far as I can remember, I have never said “s” in front of them although I came very close while at the driving range one day with my dad.

So, I will continue to keep my blog PG (maybe PG-13 every once in a while if things get exciting) so my family will keep reading.

And, Momma Dot, if I were to write your eulogy, I would absolutely be sure to include the following:
- the time I stole your Nicorette gum and you about killed me for it
- Duke, Willie, Teenie & Weenie
- Warter
- Dot’s guide to poisoning your husband’s nurse
- High rollin’ Mexican Train gambling
- Aliens

I love you and thanks for reading!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Ein, zwei, drei...Frikadellen!

Saturday night fishbowls 'o beer, taut (and turgid?) sausages, fried cheese & pickles and rhubarb pie slices are delicious...especially when enjoyed with good friends in the sprawling metropolis of Stone Mountain Village, GA. If you're ever in Atlanta and looking for some yummy German cuisine, be sure to check out The Village Corner Tavern. Highlights included the biggest beer I have ever seen (the Berliner something-or-other), the most delicious of all the delicious roasted potatoes I've ever had in my life and wind-up hopping lederhosen available for purchase*. Good times were had by all and I was falling out of my chair with a third of my big ass beer left to drink...happy 27th Mandy!

* Copy on the back of the wind-up lederhosen box:
Lederhosen, which literally means "leather pants," are a traditional folk costume worn mostly in the mountainous regions of Bavaria and Austria. They are a happy sort of short trouser that love music and dance. So next time you have cause for celebration or revelry, wind up these 3", hard plastic folkpants and watch them hop about! After all, what good is a party without Lederhosen? I mean really, what is?

my big, BIG, big beer

chris enjoying his sausage

chris in a meat-coma before he even had the first bite!

mandy and her birthday cake

Friday, April 06, 2007

Have you seen this?

Thanks to my good friend, Perez, I found this little gem. I'm not even sure what to say about it accept that seeing Alanis shaking her ass right in the camera makes me laugh. I was really hoping she would act again after her stellar role as God in Dogma...this video goes to show that dreams really do come true. So today, let's not thank India or silence or disillusionment or clarity, let's say a big Thank U to Ms.Morissette and her lady lumps. Mmmm. *gag*