Sunday, January 21, 2007

Messy is the new black


I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but with my super-busy life and all, i just haven't had the time. Now, on a cold, rainy, lazy Sunday afternoon, I write to tell you that finally I can be appreciated for what some might call my little "messy problem".

From day one of my existence, I have been a little messy and unorganized...even arriving in this world two weeks late...two weeks! Most pictures from my childhood are of a dirt-covered dress or food-stained face or wrinkled outfit but also a big, shining smile. I've never had a problem with my messiness, in fact, it suits me just fine. Every now and again I get frustrated if I can't find something or when I find the sweater I want to wear balled up in a corner covered in dog hair but for the most part, it's who I am love it or leave it. I learned pretty early on that my way wasn't the "right" way when every time I wanted to do something fun I was either delayed or completely forbidden until I cleaned my room. More often than not, I never made it to my fun activity because cleaning my room went a little like this: refuse to touch a single thing in protest of the fact that i was condemned to my room until it was clean...(2 hours later)...resign to the fact that unless i do something, i'll rot & die in my room, further adding to the mess...pick up random item #1 to put away...stare at said random item for a few minutes trying to figure out the easiest way to get rid of it...sigh...decide to throw it away, easy-peasy...pick up random item #2....stare at said random item for a few minutes...sigh...realize i haven't played/read/reviewed said item in a while...(4 hours later)...decide to throw it away, easy-peasy...and so on. Cleaning my room became a day-long event and I hated every second of it. It was my room after all, why couldn't it look the way I wanted it to? This routine carried on for the first 18 years of my life then it was off to college.

**By the way, can I just pause for a moment to tell you about the most offensively smelling gas I've ever experienced coming out of my dog right now? I know this constitutes an "overshare" but it's truly amazing both in its quantity and dry-heave inducing quality. Sorry but it's so distracting I thought you should know in case you get to the end of the post and nothing makes sense...I'm being gassed here! Now, carry on...**

It's one thing for your family to know exactly how messy you are, it's quite another for the outside world to know. So, I tried really hard to neaten up my life the best I could and it worked for about the first two weeks. I will say I improved a step or two from "disgustingly filthy messy" to "why can't you ever completely close a damn dresser drawer? messy". It became glaringly clear just how messy I was when I moved in with my best friend, BJ, literally the most organized person I have ever met. Growing up the middle child in a military family, her neatness touched every part of her life...her school work, her thoughts, her schedule, her study habits, her wardrobe, her social life...it was, and remains to be, truly astounding. If you've ever done the personality colors, she is 100% gold...I'm about 108% orange. It was pretty hysterical to walk into our dorm room. It was like looking at a before and after picture of a tornado winding its way through a bedroom. On her side, everything had its place, all doors and drawers were closed, shoes were lined nicely in her closet, clothes were hanging in her closet all in one direction and organized by season and right-side out, desk immaculate, neatly decorated with pictures and knick-knacks, bed made. On my side, desk covered with papers, bed unmade, every dresser drawer open and spewing clothes (someone once compared my dresser to a waterfall...as you moved down the dresser from top to bottom, each drawer was opened a little wider with a few more clothes hanging out. I think it was a nice effect!), mountains of clothes everywhere, clothes half-hanging off hangers, clothes hung inside out in every direction possible, books and papers covering my bed...basically, a mess. I think I secretly hoped some of her neatness would rub off on me but somehow I think my messiness just increased.

My husband deals with my untidy lifestyle as best he can and over the years has resigned himself to doing most of the chores. I try to help out but am just so inconsistent...one week I'm on point straightening up, doing laundry, making the bed, etc. then the next two weeks I won't touch a thing so we're worse off than my "good week". Just when I get one room looking good, three others are a complete disaster. The thing is, no matter how hard I try, this really is the way I am and while I have improved a little over the years and learned some tricks to help at least disguise exactly how "bad" i am, what you see is what you get.

So given my mess-history, imagine my surprise and delight when I opened The New York Times on Thursday, December 21 and found "Saying Yes to Mess", an article in the House & Home section. The subtitle read "A movement is afoot to embrace disorder as the detritus of a creative mind. But the effort is a little disorganized." Intrigued and more than a little excited, I read through the article and for the first time in my life, felt okay with being messy versus feeling bad about something that is a large part of who I am. Here are some of my favorite parts of the article:
"An anti-anticlutter movement is afoot , one that says yes to mess and urges you to embrace your disorder. Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat "office landscapes") and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts. It's a movement that confirms what you have known, deep down, all along: really neat people are not avatars of the good life; they are humorless and inflexible prigs, and have way too much time on their hands...Total organization is a futile attempt to deny and control the unpredictability of life."

Now, do I think this article is a little harsh on "neatfreaks"? Yes. Do I know super-neat and organized people that are tons of fun and lovers of life? Yes. Do I think this article was written by a dirty, dirty pig of a person that makes herself feel better about her faults by putting everyone else down? Absolutely. But, hey, a girl needs a little positive reinforcement every now and again, right? I am in full support of this new movement and finally feel like a trendsetter! If only this article had been written circa 1989 so I could have had a little more fun growing up. Oh well, I'm sure all that introspection I experienced sitting alone for hours in my room was character building and helped shape me into the strong, independent woman I am today *side-splitting laughter*.

Two things that are particularly funny about this post:
#1 - The reason I am allowing myself "computer time" is because it's my reward for doing laundry and cleaning my room.
#2 - I wanted to include more from the article but I lost the second page. Ha!

(click on the picture to read the captions)

1 comment:

peppersnaps said...

That's hilarious! I love the captioned pic (and the doggy-gas interlude). :) Don't get down on yourself -- I say, embrace the mess! As you say, its who you are and its not likely to change, so feeling bad about it will only add negative energy to the situation, which is never productive.

Its all about self-acceptance, man. :) And I like the idea of that article. Overly-neat definitely = missing out on life, somehow.