So there we were, in Panama City for my grandfather’s funeral, when I learned that my family not only reads my blog, but they also email excerpts of it to their friends and think I’m so stinking hilarious that my grandmother wants me to write her eulogy so everyone will laugh at her funeral. Sick? I’ll say. But do I eat up this kind of attention from my family, especially Momma Dot (aka - grandmother extraordinaire and my favorite person on earth)? Absolutely!
My biggest concern after making this discovery is that I may have unintentionally offended a beloved family member with my frequent use of the word “ass” (one of my favorites! I may dedicate an entire post to this most-awesome of words) and “damn” and my one-time mention of “balls”. Thank goodness I found out about their reading before, heaven forbid, I used “f” or “s”! I am in the camp that believes cussing in front of parents is extremely disrespectful, especially if they do not choose to cuss in front of you. I am still, at 27, fearful of my mom hanging me by my toenails for whatever reason so I figure I better not press my luck by running my mouth in front of her. To this day, I have only said “f” once in front of my mom and I can distinctly remember the conversation and the situation and was lucky it was over the phone so she couldn’t snatch me up right then and proceed with the hanging. As far as I can remember, I have never said “s” in front of them although I came very close while at the driving range one day with my dad.
So, I will continue to keep my blog PG (maybe PG-13 every once in a while if things get exciting) so my family will keep reading.
And, Momma Dot, if I were to write your eulogy, I would absolutely be sure to include the following:
- the time I stole your Nicorette gum and you about killed me for it
- Duke, Willie, Teenie & Weenie
- Warter
- Dot’s guide to poisoning your husband’s nurse
- High rollin’ Mexican Train gambling
- Aliens
I love you and thanks for reading!
My biggest concern after making this discovery is that I may have unintentionally offended a beloved family member with my frequent use of the word “ass” (one of my favorites! I may dedicate an entire post to this most-awesome of words) and “damn” and my one-time mention of “balls”. Thank goodness I found out about their reading before, heaven forbid, I used “f” or “s”! I am in the camp that believes cussing in front of parents is extremely disrespectful, especially if they do not choose to cuss in front of you. I am still, at 27, fearful of my mom hanging me by my toenails for whatever reason so I figure I better not press my luck by running my mouth in front of her. To this day, I have only said “f” once in front of my mom and I can distinctly remember the conversation and the situation and was lucky it was over the phone so she couldn’t snatch me up right then and proceed with the hanging. As far as I can remember, I have never said “s” in front of them although I came very close while at the driving range one day with my dad.
So, I will continue to keep my blog PG (maybe PG-13 every once in a while if things get exciting) so my family will keep reading.
And, Momma Dot, if I were to write your eulogy, I would absolutely be sure to include the following:
- the time I stole your Nicorette gum and you about killed me for it
- Duke, Willie, Teenie & Weenie
- Warter
- Dot’s guide to poisoning your husband’s nurse
- High rollin’ Mexican Train gambling
- Aliens
I love you and thanks for reading!
2 comments:
OK, now Aunt Bec is reading and encourage you to "use all the words", one of Chuck's expressions. How else can one truly express the shock value the eye has seen or the mind conceived without the poverty of words to explain? Afterall, you are not Don Imus and won't lose your job, unless there is actually a Big Brother...
yay, aunt bec!!! see you next month in pc. love you and your husband's expressions. whenever i talk about chuck this is how i describe him..."yeah, so my uncle is a methodist preacher and the first adult i ever heard say the f-word". he should be so proud.
Post a Comment