I'm down, I've got the 411...

"...and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My momma didn't raise no foo'!"

10 points if you guess the movie.

Before you begin, please place the fleshy, movable, muscular organ, attached in most vertebrates to the floor of the mouth, otherwise known as the tongue, into the buccal aspect of the gum, otherwise known as the cheek.

And, begin!

So, you know you live in the hood when you go to your monthly neighborhood association meeting and are handed a copy of "Da Slang Thang", a dictionary of sorts translating local slang words so us non-ghettofied (is that pc?) folks can understand conversations we might overhear on the street. So that you can all be enlightened, I have chosen some of my favorites...

1) Big Pimpin' - a male who claims to have access to a lot of money and/or prostitutes

2) Celly - a cellular phone

3) Rollin' on Dubs - a car with chrome rims, specifically 20" or larger.

4) Floss - to show off and/or tease with material possessions, especially cars or jewelry. I'm actually really glad to know this one because I couldn't figure out why Fergie keeps singing "flossy, flossy"....NOW I get it. Thanks "Da Slang Thang"!

5) Murk - to kill someone; (2) to run or in the act of running away

6) Sizzurp - an alcoholic drink composed of vodka, a fruit drink high in glucose and cough syrup, preferably containing codeine

7) Wangsta - a wanna-be thug, imitation hustler or psuedo-gangster; (2) somebody who has been doing illegal activities for a long time but does not have any material possessions to show for it (cami question....what if you've been doing LEGAL activities for a long time, like work, and still have no material possessions to show for it? Does that make me a "worksta"?). Originated by Jungle who is Nas' brother; made popular by 50 (pronounced "Fiddy") Cent and is now understood nationally.

8) Hooptie/Squata - a vehicle, more often than not an older model vehicle that does not run very well. "Hooptie" is generally known nationally while "squata" is primarily used in the Northeast. Also formerly known as a hoodoo in South Texas.

I think this post is a great lead-in for an experience I had several weeks ago but never got around to posting about. And now, enjoy what I like to call "A Night on Lannon Avenue..." a.k.a. "Reason #947 Not to Smoke Crack":

5/9/07:
5:00am
Awaken by the soothing sounds of a crack lady-of-the-evening (would "whore" be considered more offensive than prostitute? Is there some ho-hierarchy that I'm not aware of?) screaming into our neighbors house that they need to go in the garage and have sex with her because she needed some change. She was specifically yelling at "Gerald" (names have been changed to protect the identity of our cracked-out neighbor) who apparently did have sex with her recently for $5 and whom, according to screaming ho, smelled like piss when they did it. The one-way(ish) conversation went something like this:

Ho: Gerald. Gerald, give me some change.
Ho: Gerald. Hey Gerald. GERALD!!!! Gerald, come "f" me in the garage so I can get some change.
Ho: Gerald, I'm gonna steal your bike if you don't come out here.
Ho: G-E-R-A-L-D!!!!!!
Gerald: "B"! Go home!
Ho: Come on Gerald.
Gerald: I don't want you. Go home!
Ho: Gerald, you owe me $5.
Gerald: "B"! Go home!
Ho: Gerald, if you call the cops I'll kill you.

And so on and so on...There was much screaming, demanding of cigarettes, life threats, etc. for about an hour when somehow she made her way into the house where she proceeded to lay down on the kitchen floor and refuse to leave. I finally made it back to sleep as they were still yelling at each other and I'm pretty sure "Gerald" was either physically pulling her or kicking her out of the house. All went silent around 6:30.

We're not in Snellville anymore folks.